i'm recovering already.. missed wilfred alot...
everytime i think abt him today i felt like crying so that makes it 'wanting to cry the whole day' and when i take out the recently taken neoprint to look at his face... my eyes immediately get filled with tears.

haiz
i don't want to think anymore. all i want, is to hear his voice soon. hope he calls me.

i didn't hav a bad day today.
didn't go to work cos i'm excused to go attend my ceremony in sch. tediously and boringly long ceremony. lotsa smart ppl. only one event caught my full attention. some law student singing "phantom of the opera"... his voice is very gd i must say i definitely enjoyed his singing. the girls pale in comparison. i hav no idea wad the dance students were doing. the dance seems.. abit messy. timing not accurate for some.

anyway after that whole thing finish, it was already nearly five in the afternoon. dad n mum brought me to roxy square to hav steamboat there. quite expensive. now i'm juz relaxing at hm n waiting for wilfred to call me. i talked to ravin, my fellow intern frm BIT on msn yesterday... chatted quite alot. at least i'm happy i hav someone i can click with at work.

during the ceremony earlier on i had lotsa emotional surges... had to fight them off. i think i'm not the only one who's getting shit. shaikha had a very bad day today. first her boss. which is sucha a bitch frm wad i heard. then her couldn't-care-less LO, and same bad news frm maha (which i've gotten frm wilfred).. and she has to work on weekends. i think she's worse than me. at least i still get to see wil on sunday. i shld pick myself up. can't stand seeing myself being such a wreck.

realised how emotionally weak i am.
without wilfred's supporting my emotional side, i collapse in a blink of an eye.
muz learn to be independent!
must!
if not can't survive.
i'm devastated and unmotivated cos of some news i had frm him....
no mood to work....
lotsa stress cos relationship related stuff too...
task give at work oso very jia lat...
boring workin environment...

i miss wilfred so much...
i wan or rather, i yearn to see him right now...
but i know i can't.
i have disappointment in me...
and really wan to spend more time with him....
miss him like crazy
feel like bursting inside cos of the stress i have...
paranoia is my worse enemy
stress is another. i can never perform under stress.
sometimes... loving someone make u strong.... but loving someone makes u very weak too.
strong when u think he/she is supporting u and thro that u get motivated
weak when u miss him/her and is collapsing in depression and stress..

*sigh*

I MISS WILFRED DARNIT!

first day at work.
raffles place, some business IT consultancy company

office space: small
staff around: 4
race of majority of staff or rather, ALL: indian

boss(es) were late for >15 minutes today. me n dennis bumped into another 2 more intern students frm TP. both frm BIT. boss lurking ard not safe LOL later then i type more. SO BORING. but ok lah boss all nice ppl *or so it seems*

am running out of space for my comics.
drats.
mum suggest we move the two shelves (one in my rm, one in the storerm)
put them both in a rm and make it my "comic corner" hahaha
cool idea but i not free and i lazy.
lolz mebbe next time.

the mere thought of me having to remove all the comics
and then shift the shelf
and the move the comic back in
is killer thought.

talked to wilfred for 20 minutes today hee so happy.
no one was queueing up behind him.
he said platoon 1, 2 and 3 of his Alpha camp got punished
they had to do push ups in the rain.

reason?
some bodoh frm platoon 3 go n whistle at a girl outside the camp
who's the girl?
their platoon commander's girlfriend.
LOL LOL LOL
then obviously sometime it's only human to be curious
so some of the guys frm other platoons looked out
end up all kana punished to do pumping. hahahaha
stupid horny bastard who whistled.
too long nvr c ger already.

mum is dreaming again.
suddenly while eating my corn sushi
she says, "if can get a refridgerator into ur dad's stall hor, mebbe we can start seeling sushi already"

O.O

*speechless*

stupid template disappeared again. heng i do back up every time now...

hehehe was reading tootie's blog earlier on and she was complaining abt getting edgy feelings too after i mentioned to her abt mine *OopS?*

well i "migrated" to my dad's rm last night after he go to work. i took my pillow and bolster and blankets and went to sleep on his bed hahaha strangely enough, i fell asleep very soon. i wonder why... mum say my rm the mattress v old already... mebbe that's why... it's no longer comfortable to sleep on... making me have edgy feeling every night... taking me hours before i can actually fall asleep.

went downstairs to help wilfred buy ciggie and the shop owner ask me one day smoke how many packet. *raise eyebrow* DO I LOOK LIKE SOME1 WHO SMOKE? oh well i guess it's hard to tell bwahaha anyway i say i buy for other ppl one... it's the third time i bought ciggie frm him..

u noe girls tend to suck in their tummy to make it look slimmer right? i do that too of course cos when i let it dwn it makes me look hideously fat. like pregnant woman i wonder why. mebbe stomach too much hot air haha anyway todae nothing betta to do i stand infrnt of the mirror and look. i relaxed totally expecting a bulging tummy end up it stayed in the same position. *GLEAMING EYES* geez.. hahahaha i lost weight! great news wahahhaa at least i dun worry abt bulging tummy and paunch anymore wahahaha...

*sings* tml is satudarday tml is saturday *lalalalalala.....*

hmmmm *looks at ballerina sumomo* it's so cute rite? hahaha i amaze myself everytime i draw something. still can't believe i drew it.

BALLERINA SUMOMO

THIS IS BY FAR my best sumomo, the cutest, prettiest and nicest!!! done upon request by tootie, i did up a ballerina! it's so pretty!!! haahahha oh my gosh....

*dance around*

SO CUTE!

WWWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

hehehehehe tml gonna be friday and soon! it's gonna be SATURDAY!
hehehehehe wilfred called me up twice today and said he did some training on his own..
when i come back out into the living rm after talking on the phone
my show finish!!!!! arghhh and somemore the lead guy kana stab then end liao hahaha
kao heng i read reader guide noe wad's happening next bwahaha

hmm tml will be busy day packing n buying things n getting ready... i think i go plan now
hehehe
cya

:::: DRAGON VOICE NO MORE LIAO!! ARGH last bk... sob sob (my comic series lar)

wahahahaha i did up a sano sumomo!!!!! so cute!!!!!! omg omg omg..... hahahahaha i'm gonna go send it to him now... if u guys interested and wanna see it u better go ask frm him hahaha..... my gosh.... now i'm totally hooked onto making sumomos hahaha...

NINJA SUMOMO

wheeeeeeeeee another totemo (very) kawaii sumomo done upon request!!! it's ninja sumomo!!!! heehee so kawaii ne.... lalalala

found this picture very cute haha



*MEOOOOOOOWRRR!!!*

hee wilfred called me today. we talked much longer than usual cos apparently no one was queuing up behind him hee hee he said he did lotsa training such as weights and push up n stuff like that... then say he kana "hamtam" by one of his bunkmates cos he ke siao pretend to be masturbating (action only) then the malay fren tot very disgusting so "hamtam" him hahahaha as usual lah wilfred so rubbish right? me my mum were debating abt the bus route to my work place before he called hahaha so i havta to her on "hold". might be on saturday we hav dinner together with my mum or something. ^^

i went out to buy comic in the afternoon.... i juz realised that i did not step out of the house even once for the past 2 days wahaha siao liao like hermit lidat...

i watched a documentary in the afternoon which is abt those french prisoners. jia lat sia.. death pales in comparison with the torture they get..

hmm then wad else..? oh yeah then there's another animal documentary abt smuggling animals.. then there was this bunch of exotic animals .. all the cute cute monkeys.. haiz haiz

Country Sumomo

something to add to my collection. haha ain't it so cute? i juz finished drawing it..... i've gotten the base (body structure) from AngyChan

i reallie like this sumomo alot for some strange reason. i've gotten more of other sumomo bases which are so darn cute. mebbe next time i'll draw more.

i think when my SIP start, soon i'll be hanging up a sign saying

hahahaha

ONE YEAR EIGHTH MONTH ANNIVASARY!!!!!!!!!!

well! what can i say! today is the day to celebrate although my dear is not with me...
although i'm still kinda sad over the fact he can't be out to fetch me frm work..
BUT... knowing that we still have each other is even more impt!!

p.s. pat!!!! happy anni for u n ralph too! haha

am feeling very very very sad right now.....
depressed beyond what words alone can explain...
i juz keep crying and crying and that's practically all i do...
no feeling and enthusiasm to do anything else anymore.

wilfred failed his IPPT test. i prayed and hoped but he still failed.
he sound really depressed on the phone and even said he cried in his bunk.
everybody wants to get out of the camp. half his bunkmates passed.
a few were left behind...
he did well for all the other test items except his pull up...
even his PC say wasted.

i thought we could've spent a week more......
i thought i can hav him fetching me after work....
i thought i will have someone there for me
when i can't cope with working.. the culture shock and all.....

i thought .... but the unexpected turned out.

this piece of news mattered so damn much to me...
yet i did not get what i hoped for...
he said he might call me later.... mebbe he will not...
i said "call me please"...
i cannot take this alone...
he said "mebbe talk a short while will be gd"
yeah.. at least better than nothing...

i tried to be strong
i tried to be optimisstic about it
i tried to be hopeful
yet now i feel .. choked up.
i juz can't stop crying...
damn..

now i juz wanna fast forward my time till saturday
so that i can meet him again.
i don't wanna think of anything else at the moment..

Your a very warm person who wants to be loved for
who you are. Love means the world to you but
you want it to be right. You have a vision of
perfection when it comes to true love. Just
remember, love is always perfect, but people
never are. You gotta be willing to take the
good with the bad, just as you want people to
except that about you.
What does love mean to you?
brought to you by Quizilla

am feeling quite kanjiong about how wilfred fared for his test... even typing is also becoming rather difficult. quite strangely, i am shaking alittle.. geez..
chatted for quite awhile with karen when i juz woke up.. realised she's workin somewhere in raffles place too.
Robinson Point she says.. that's about somewhere near .. ok let's put it this way, if on a map her building is across the road, on the left of lau pa sat, mine will be across the street, in front of lau pa sat. hm ok lah not bad cos at least i know i have friends around the vicinity and since shaikha is working somewhere in eunos and finishes work at 6, i can travel back home on the way and meet up with her for dinner or something. kekeke...

hmmm i'm kinda blurry everyday... haha waking up late makes me feel even more tired. wonder what's the reason behind that.

My latest work done. I call her the 'streetkid'. suddenly felt like doing up a doll with some character... i've always liking for streetwise characters. find them very attractive haha...

maha (shaikha's bf) failed his IPPT test which is the physical test they have in ns to determine if they get their 3 weeks off. he failed so he gotta stay in for one more week. wilfred's test is tomorrow.. i know he seemed demoralized by the fact charlie and delta camp hav so mani ppl fail but i hav a strong gut feeling that he will pass. wishing him all the best!! HE'LL PASS HIS IPPT! *ROOOOOAR*

today passed quite well for me. hm.. gotta plan wad to do tml..

I am 14% evil. Take the test :: koolplace.com

am done with most of what i noe i need to do. the resume... the template and all. *sigh* mr lin juz roughly told me wad my job scope might be. sounds freakingly tough. am trying to stay positive though. no other choice either... i am so freakin blur when i woke up that when dennis told me twice his email address, twice i got it wrong. shoot.

ok let's not think abt this. i rather enjoy the last of my holiday this term first.

am now waiting to hear wilfred's voice on the phone. i keep feeding myself with positive things to think of instead of the negative... stuff like.... i've handed in my resume before hand.. so now i no nid to rush... stuff like me being able to meet wif wil before SIP starts.. it might giv me much good exposure and experience... boss don't seem too bad.. i have a colleague with me.. so i'm not alone... everything might jus turn out fine u noe? cos at least i dun haf to rush project until like fuck. *cross fingers* ok i go rest my eyes. cya

finally am done with my resume. sent it already. shucks. now i'm wondering if i shld've called gary lin up to ask him check through first..... oh damn anyway send liao. heng suay not up to me already. hahaha had help frm tanya (lotsa lotsa hugs for her) and urban|c (lotsa lotsa help frm him too) and ah seng (hug hug hug!) hahahaha

frm yellow pages i found out the location of my work place liao. it's somewhere behind OUB.... opp lau pa sat... hehe

got back from wilfred's hse and frm sending him off at his camp already.... met one of his bunkmate. a rather short fair skinned guy.. he's abt 157cm haha shorter than me. forgot wad is his name... jones or jonas or something like that... has a very humble look but his arms are damn big hahahaha wilfred say he can simply do 12 pull ups. my gosh.

i spent two great days at wilfred's house. on saturday evening we went out to meet my ex-colleague. lol wilfred was wondering how come i fell for wilson last time cos he say wilson not handsome hahahaha oh well... i muz admit wilson ain't the pretty boy type but he's gd boi and fit fit mar.. lolz but now he botak, v tan and all... abit not yandao, if not worse hahaha.. vincent same. no diff. hahah wenchuan i nearly luff until die. he go straighten his hair n it's slightly longer than before... martin has the greatest changes of all. i OMOST can't recognize him! at first i c his face i tot he become fat. then i realised it's not fat but DAMN FIT. like previous body X 2 lidat... the arms ar... so freakin thick hahaha then we went to eat first before going to duno where... parkmall nearby some lousy pool center to play pool... wenchuan keep 'chiak tsui' and me? no form lolz aiming abit cannot make it. wilson as usual lah damn gd wad to do? wilfred say he very accurate cos wilson alwaiz play billard one but i think they managed to play a few rounds and wilfred won him twice out of.... i duno how mani games. abt four or five..

hmmmmm at about nearing 10pm me n wilfred decided to leave. we walked to dhoby gaut and took mrt back home. the whole day.. beside the fact that the guys r abit stiff ard wilfred after all they met onli todae. wil managed to strike up a convo with wilson for quite awhile lolz. i'm very happy cos.... i enjoyed myself and cos i didnt' slp the night before, i got very emotional at night... i wasn't tired though strangely... but very emotional. then the thought abt SIP (my attachment) is also very stressful for me. cried alot.... talked to wilfred about how i was feeling and what i'm going thro and he hugged me and ask me to cry. said alot of things to console and encourage me... haha at least i'm glad he's ard to comfort me when i feel so weak. whenever he's with me i dun put up a brave front anymore? i let my emotions flow.... he said i was there for him when he had the hardest time in ns... now it's his term to help me with mine. we talked all the way till we got home where he put his uniform to wash and i cooked maggi for him. his dad was at home. i chatted with wilfred at night before we slept until about 2+ when he decides that we shld slp, he had his arms ard me while i lay on his chest. i think i took less than 5 mins to fall aslp. hahaha so tired.... he is more fit now? chest bigger wahaha feels like teddy bear so nice to hug. he say he woke up feeling his arms all numb *cos i lying on it* wahahaha so he had to pull his arms out. somewhere in the middle of slpin he literally bumped into me. suddenly jerked and bump so hard into me... hahaha siao one.

he woke up at abt 9.30am. i continued lying till 10.30 before draggin myself out of bed. woke up n brushed teeth while he was playing computer. we chatted by the comp while i checked my blog and all...... all the way until 11 then i go n iron his uniform. took 20mins to finish this time wahaha first attempt was 45++ min. second was slightly faster... this was the third attempt. haha then ironed the rest of his shirts for him to pack into his bag and folded his smart 4 (sleeves).. hmmm watched tv... had dinner with his folks.... his dad gave me a bag of nuts... duno wad u call it i think it's called pistachos or something and then his bro n yong an came home. bla bla lots... me n wil watched tv, slacked in his rm.. the whole time he was alittle preoccupied, thinking abt his IPPT (physical training). he wanna pass it so dat he can get his 3 weeks off to spend with me. i love being with him and love being able to talk to him cos talkin to him is so enjoyable and relaxed. i sent him back to camp and now i'm missing him already.

haiz. but i got things to do. a resume and email and stuff to prepare myself for my SIP. the briefing in the morning was boring in a way and very draggy. i'll stop here n go do my resume. cya